Here's a listing of tools to clean and maintain a computer running a 32 (or some 64) bit Microsoft operating system. Yeah, that's probably what you have, but if you're not sure, look for a picture of an Apple or a Penguin. If you see one on the outside of your computer or when it boots up, you probably aren't running any version of Windows. If you see a Pear or a Duck, - I like your sense of humor.
 
If you're lucky enough to have come across an infected computer, run the following in the order presented.

Clean up!

• Pre-Clean: Uninstall every piece of software that has the name Symantec or Norton on it. Their antivirus and security software has made it big time in the press, and with computer manufacturers, but the folks who spend a lot of time fixing computers all have a similar tale to tell. It's crap. Pure and simple.
• If you put this crap in your computer and bring it to me, be prepared to eat crow...
• I've come across an article (rant) which backs up my opinion, in a delightfully funny way. Click here for a great laugh.
• Here's another (not so funny) Norton/Symantec horror story.
• ----
• Mike Lin's Startup. This tiny little program will list most of the programs that run at startup, and allow you to selectively stop or start most of them on the next boot. If you find a bunch of stuff starting on an infected computer, disable them with this, reboot, and run the software below. Once cleaned up, you can re-select the (good) disabled programs by running the program again (and rebooting). Rinse, lather, repeat...
• Crap Cleaner – Very useful hard drive cleaner – Removes temp files, cookies etc. It can also do some anemic (but safe) registry cleaning. If possible, install and run this before running virus or spyware scans because it'll reduce the number of files that need to be scanned - and save you some time. (Sometimes a LOT.)
• Virus Cleanup:
• This link will run an online virus scan and removal, if your computer isn't too badly infected. http://www.pandasoftware.com/activescan
• If badly infected with viruses and the above online scanner won't work, download the latest version of this standalone Avast scanner. This is not a replacement for the full scan you should do with the resident version of whatever decent antivirus scanner you install. (further down) (Which you should install immediately, once the worst bugs are gone. See rant about Symantec/Norton above.) If you still haven't removed the S and N crap, start at the top of this page again.
  
  •Spyware Cleanup Part 1:* Download the following before trying to remove spyware. - l2mfix.exe will usually correct connection problems that occur when you remove some spyware. *Download beforehand, but don't run unless you can't connect. http://www.atribune.org/downloads/l2mfix.exe

•Spyware Cleanup Part 2: *

• Here's a link to an online spyware remover that will pull spyware that other programs miss or can't remove when installed on an infected system. http://www.spywareguide.com/txt_onlinescan.html The site sometimes has connection issues, so another option is the online scanner at Trend Micro
• CounterSpy has full functionality for 15 days before you have to purchase it, but it's currently the best quasi-freeware for rooting out spyware. Install and run after the online scan above.
• Ewido is an excellent cleaner, and will take out some really hard to remove malware, even stuff that Counterspy can't. It used to be slow and a huge resource hog, but they seem to have addressed those issues in the latest version and it's now fully recommended by the PiffleMaster. (Automatic updates expire after 30 days.)

Software condoms:

• For antivirus I use the free version of AVG. (Download), in conjunction with Threatfire(previously Novatix CyberHawk), which also protects against malware. Both run happily together.
• I can also recommend Avast (–Download Register). It's also free, but with a requirement to download a new serial every 12 months. I prefer it to AVG, but the serial throws people off.
• Threatfire is a free resident scanner that uses heuristic scanning and compares programs you install against a dynamic online database. It has worked well with no issues and won Editors Choice from PC Mag.
• A software firewall is a must have (for most people), especially if you don't use a router or other hardware firewall. (Note, most routers will function as a firewall right out of the box, however enhanced protection must be turned on for greater security.) I'm currently just using the Windows firewall in conjunction with AVG, Threatfire and my router.
• Assorted:
• WinRar is a very capable compressor/decompressor. It's free with a nag.
• For backup I use the amazing Syncback. It is by far the best free backup solution I've found. Seriously. After years of trying a multitude of various programs, this is by far the best free off the shelf backup program I've found. It makes even commercial programs look lame.
• Filehippo has an automated Program Version Checker/Updater. Use it to easily check and update installed programs. Note: You must download the checker to your hard drive. Do not attempt to "Install" it as you'll get a failure message. MS Net is required as well. Get that through MS update.
• Finally, you should keep your operating system and other software up to date to help prevent issues from occurring. Turn on automatic updates for software, if you're the forgetful type. If you're really forgetful, ummm - what was I talking about?... Oh yeah, get rid of that Symantec and Norton malware...

The following are replacement programs which I use - because the originals suck so much.

• Alternative Adobe PDF Reader
• Alternative Real Player
• Alternative Quicktime Player

Afterwards, you should uninstall the evil call home bloatware that these replace...

Finally, you should keep your operating system and other software up to date to help prevent issues from occurring. Turn on automatic updates for software, if you're the forgetful type. If you're really forgetful, ummm - what was I talking about?... Oh yeah, get rid of that Symantec and Norton malware...

Glitches:

• Windows Media Player problem - won't connect or download media information because options have been greyed out. One of the arcane issues that occasionally pops up is an inability of Media Player to download song information from the internet, when ripping CDs to MP3 or WMA files. The option boxes which need to be checked are inaccessible as they've been grayed out by some program or other. There is a relatively easy fix for this, but it does involve editing the registry as follows:
• 
  Launch regedit, navigate to the following entries, and change the option for each to read 0 rather than 1.
  HKEY_USERS\S-1-5-21-xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx\Software\Policies­\Microsoft\WindowsMediaPlayer
  set 'PreventMusicFileMetadataRetrieval' with a value of zero,
  'PreventCDDVDMetadataRetrieval' with a value of zero, and change values called 'NoCodecDownload' and 'PreventCodecDownload' to zero.
  Do the same in HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Policies\Microsoft\WindowsMediaPlayer if the values are set to 1.
   
  That should fix the problem. Your mileage may vary. If you don't know about editing the registry, you shouldn't attempt this unless you're prepared to do a repair install of the OS. (or know how to recover when your computer won't boot.)

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